A Journey to Mindfulness – Meditation 101

Picture this…we are living at the normal frantic pace of life as we always do -work, parenting, day to day stresses, than life throws you a curve ball. Teachers are telling you that there is something not quite right with your second grader.  She is not keeping up with the work and not paying attention. Not so subtly, they are suggesting she should be medicated for ADHD.   She is bright, social, and adored by all that meet her, except her teachers.   All of life’s other challenges seem small in comparison to the perceived attack on your daughter.  Everything seems personal when it is about your child.  It started in kindergarten for us and continued until second grade when a teacher who I knew cared about my daughter, agreed it was time to dig deeper into what was going on with her behavior.   My daughter lost the light in her eyes and always felt defeated by the work she was expected to do.  She is incredibly smart but the mundane things buried her. We took her to get diagnosed.  To no surprise, she did land on the spectrum for ADHD.   I knew medication was not the answer for us.  I am not an advocate of medicating either way but being born 2 months early, the doctors were concerned about her heart and a heart murmur they would occasionally hear.  We were told that she would be fine and there was little chance the stimulant in these medications would harm her.   Little chance to me, was not worth the risk.    One of the alternate therapies for ADHD was Mindfulness Training.  We went as a family, partaking in weekly session that taught us different ways for my daughter to calm her mind.  This is when my meditation practice solidified.  I had an Asana yoga practice for years on and off.  Anytime I did practice, I felt amazing.   Meditation on the other hand, I could never get past the monkey mind running away with all my crazy thoughts.   I spent a lot of time thinking, I am never going to have a clear mind, until I discovered I did not need to rid my mind of thoughts, I just needed to let them pass so I could make a little space for the moments of calm.  After 4 solid years of practicing mediation on a daily basis, sometimes I am surprised at how calmly I react to situations that would have sent me in tailspin prior to my starting this regular practice.

If you are not familiar with meditation and are not sure where to start, the one thing I remember most about those sessions was when you bring yourself into the present moment you will discover that there is a world that is going on around you that you never even noticed.  Here are some tips to get you started on with simple basic meditation.

• Find a quite space. I meditate in the early morning hours, preferably before the sun comes up.  I know not everyone is a morning person so find a time that works for you where you won’t be interrupted.
• Come into a comfortable position. I suggest seated in easy pose also known as sukhasana or lying down also known as corpse pose.  Comfort is key so you can maintain this posture for a short period of time.   Starting out you can do this for two minutes.   As you progress in your practices, you can increase time for as long as it serves you.  My standard is between 10-20 minutes each morning.
• Lower your eyes. If you would like, close them.  If you are more comfortable, just lower them and find a spot on the floor to gaze upon.  This is called a drisdy point.
• Begin to focus on the breath, breathing in slowly and using the following breath pattern –
  • Inhale for a count of 3
  • Pause for a 1 count at the top of the breath
  • Exhale for a count of 3
  • Pause for 1 count before beginning the next inhale
  • Continue for several breathes

The breath is a constant.   It is always with us.  Use it as a tool to bring yourself into the present and calm your mind.  Once you feel grounded, allow the breath to come to a normal pace.  Now listen.  There is a good chance you will hear sounds around you, which are always there that you never noticed as you go through your daily routine.  In the morning hours I hear the clock ticking, the traffic from the freeway, the birds singing, the heat or air from the ventilation system and together it becomes an orchestra of calm.   Don’t get me wrong the thoughts come.   Some days I can let them float by like clouds in the sky.   Other times they are overwhelming and it feels like there is no space for calm.  When thoughts come, recognize them and let them go.   Always remember to use your breath as an anchor pulling you back to the present.  The goal is to keep going.  Tomorrow may allow for more space and less thoughts.  It is a practice which means you have to keep coming back to it and training your mind.

It has been 4 years since my daughter’s diagnosis.  She has never been on medication.   She has blossomed and her ability to focus has changed dramatically.   She does not have a daily meditation practice but she is aware of her monkey mind and now has the tools to bring herself into the present moment when her thoughts get away from her.   Her confidence has been restored and not only is she adored by all of those that meet her, her teachers adore her too.