Travel Companions – What to Consider When Sharing Travel Experiences

If you love to travel, at some point, you are going to have a travel companion.  For me travel is a very exciting thing and while I can do it on my own it is something that can be best enjoyed with friends, lovers, partners, newfound or with whom you have had years of history.   If you travel with a long time friend, you have a pretty good idea of what type of experience you will have.  If you travel with someone you just met, you are rolling the dice on whether you will have the same pace, interest, and expectation.  Think about become a roommate with this person over the next few days to weeks and consider whether it will be an experience of a lifetime or completely intolerable.   For a long time, I never considered what I gave up in traveling with the wrong person.  I was so excited to go anywhere (and still am) that I wouldn’t think about the fact someone could be on a completely different page as I was, leading to a trip that was less than delightful.

When I first began to travel, I would go with anyone who was willing to go anyplace with me.  For example, when I decided to jump into a car and drive coast to coast, I found someone willing to join me.  We were friends but I did not consider all the reasons why it was a bad idea.   She was bossy and moody.  She was lacking in the funds department and was basically along for a free ride.  This is not to say we didn’t experience good times, we did, and I had someone to travel with on a journey I may not have taken on my own.  It is just that it cost me twice what I expected monetarily and emotionally.   She would wander off with strangers while I worried for her safety, and at the end of the road I was quickly abandon for the next free ride she could grab.   I learned a lot from that experience and became much more picky in travel companions.

As I matured and started to invest more in my travel experiences, I began to think more about how having the wrong travel partner could ruin a perfectly good trip.  Consider all the planning, the cost, and the expectation.  Do you really want that ruined by choosing someone who has their own agenda, one that not only you do not share, you would not even consider?  Sometimes solo travel becomes a better option.  Not yet willing to succumb to only solo travel, with a deep desire to share the experiences I had with someone, I started to consider things to take into account before planning a trip with anyone.   It is much like a list you would use when considering a roommate.  Here are the things I take into consideration.

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Do you have the same pace and appetite for adventure?

Plan to lounge by the pool and soak up some sun?   Or will you be off to sightseeing for hours on end?  Pace is important.   I traveled with a friend who was a sleeper.   I wanted to get up and get my day started early, making the most of vacation.  Never really planning what our trip was going to look like, she wanted to sleep in and lounge around at her own pace.   She was irritated at me for waking her up and I was pissed that I was stuck in a hotel room while a whole world was outside waiting for me to explore.  This is a mild case of not being on the same page.  What about when one of you want to party all night and the other is more inclined to play it safe and call it a day when still of sound mind?  It is fine if one person has agreed to be the “designated driver” but what if you or they feel forced into it because of concern about the safety and good judgment of your travel partner?  When traveling in unfamiliar places, particularly another country, being safe is essential so it is key that someone is coherent.   If you cannot agree that someone will babysit, it might be a good idea to consider whether you will be the best travel companions.

Do you have similar budgets and expectation of travel accommodations?

Fine dinning and 5 star hotels are great if you can afford it.   Me personally, I am somewhere in the middle.  Maybe I’ll splurge for a couple great meals and do street food part of the time.  Travel accommodations should be nice but reviews from prior patrons are more valuable to me than the number of stars.  I don’t need all the extras if I am spending little time in the room.  If it is safe, clean, and comfortable that is what matters most.   If you travel with someone who is “5 star and fine dinning” and you are “budget accommodations and street food,” you are going to see an instant clash.   In most cases you will know if this is not a fit when you are in the process of planning your trip.

Are they trustworthy and reliable?

If you are in another country, you want someone you can rely on, knowing they will be watching out for you as you will for them.   Once when traveling to foreign country, I got very ill just about the time a walking tour was beginning.   It was likely a result of combination of things, jet lag, no breakfast, the heat, but I literally was on the ground on the verge of vomiting.  My friend, who I didn’t know well at the time and had never traveled with before, opted to hang out with me and make sure I got back to the hotel rather than proceed with the tour.  It was not expected and I felt terrible that she missed the tour but I knew at that moment this was someone who had my back and I would want to travel with often.  Sometimes we run into hick-ups in our travels and want to be sure we have someone around watching out for us.  What if you loose your passport or you get pick pocketed and you have no funds?  Or like me, you become ill?  There is also the flip side of that where you want someone you can rely on to show up.  What if you plan a trip and at the last minute someone changes their mind and cancels?  To be flaky seems to have become a new norm for some and the last thing you want to have to rearrange travel plans at the last minute so be sure your travel companion is completely committed to the plan.

Are each of you good with doing your own thing if the occasion calls for it?

When we are in a new place, it might be a little scary to venture off on our own.   If you plan properly, it could be quite an adventure.  Keep this in mind when you travel with someone.  Maybe you are fine with spending all your time together.  This does not mean they necessary will be and whats more, you may find you need a little space from each other.  As I mentioned earlier, this is like having an instant short term roommate, except with roommates you have separate space and separate lives, spending time away from each other on a regular basis.    This in mind, too much time together while traveling, may call for a little separation.   Plan to do a sightseeing trip where you are on your own yet still with a group of people.   When I have been in these situations, I like to wander off and do some shopping on my own.  Talk to your travel companion. If you find that you each like you free time and personal space, consider separate hotel rooms if you planned to share one.

While it took me a while to figure all this out, considering the above questions has lead to much more enjoyable travel experiences.  Now I have a great pool of travel partners that I have regularly travel places with, near and far.   When the time comes to add to that pool, I will always consider the items above for me.   Bare in mind though these are only suggestions as everyone is different.  My experience has taught me these are my sticking points.   What are your sticking points?  Have you had horrible travel experience that taught you how to pick a better travel companion?  If so, I would love to hear about it. Please share below in comments.